A whole lot of assumption but basically stemming from the odd notion that what your late spouse might have left you in the form of life insurance, marital home or other valuables is somehow still his or hers. Furthermore, it becomes the property of someone else, who is now free to do whatever the hell they want with it. I have seldom witnessed someone inherit from a parent or grandparent and not piss the money away like trailer trash with a Power Ball jackpot. And because I was completely stunned that anyone would ask such a question at such a time, I told her. It wasn’t until much later – after mother-in-law absconded with money from the memorial that was meant to help cover the expense of it – that I realized the inquiry about life insurance was about calculating her cut.As my late husband lay in the intensive care before being moved to hospice, his mother sent her best friend to query me about life insurance. You would be amazed – or maybe not – by the people who truly believe that inheritance is a given and have their hands out sometimes way in advance of your death.A sizable proportion of adult children are like this.They see their parents and grandparents as some sort of long-range saving plan.You don’t ever want your 50 year old child questioning your need to take a trip or buy a new pair of boots or go out to lunch every Tuesday with your friends because it’s eating up the money you should be saving to leave him/her. Countless seniors live with harpy adult children who view all things mom/dad as eventually their things.
Let your partner know that he can talk about his deceased spouse and his feelings concerning her passing. Strive to fill a new role in the lives of your partner and his children instead of attempting to replace the wife and mother that they lost.Trying to involve yourself in their lives too quickly or too aggressively may have the adverse reaction of pushing your date away as he tries to cope with his feelings and help his children cope with theirs.If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Give your new partner the freedom to dictate how the relationship will progress, including when and how you will interact with his children.While dating a widower with children can present it own set of challenges, particularly if the passing of his spouse was recent or unexpected, it is still possible to develop a warm and fulfilling relationship.Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings. Even if your new love interest has had ample time to grieve the loss of his spouse, his children may still be dealing with the loss of their parent -- and he may be trying to help them deal with their pain.A way to pay off the mortgage, plump up retirement plans or just have a wad of cash to fritter away on vacations and material crap.