Polys are not apt to be bored in other areas of life, either. Some say they learn something about relationship skills from their other partner or partners, something that can be applied with the primary partner, she says. "When I'm actively exploring multiple relationships, balancing my time and energy is usually the most difficult part,'' says Cherie." It can also be particularly draining if more than one of my partners has a crisis in their lives that they ask my assistance with, such as supporting them through a career change, family illness, problems in other relationships, or other challenging times." But if the other person has multiple partners, she says, they also have the benefit of getting multiple sources of help.
Handling the "fear response" in partners can be an issue, says Chris.
When she goes to a romantic comedy with Jemma, for instance, Block says there's no eye rolling, as there usually is when she goes with Christopher.Franklin Veaux, an ex-partner of Cherie, says he, too, is hardwired to be a polyamorist."Why does the princess or the prince who lives in a castle have to choose? "There is enough room for everyone." He keeps in touch with Cherie through instant messaging, although they are not romantically linked right now.Another term to describe one type of open relationship is polyamory -- literally, "multiple loves." Those who practice open relationships or polyamory often say they are "hardwired" this way and that laying the ground rules for multiple relationships spares everyone hurt and disappointment.Not everyone agrees, with some therapists calling the polyamorous model a recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy, and breakups.When the O'Neills, trained as anthropologists, wrote their book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, they weren't just talking about the freedom to explore sexual relationships outside the marriage, although that idea got the most attention.