He was handsome, wore glasses, was going slightly gray, and edged a little on the nerdy side: perfect.
I was a 33-year-old Lutheran deacon-in-training trying to convince myself I didn’t want to have sex with him, even though I did.
The sun was just dipping below the horizon when we arrived at his church, Mother Cabrini on Fort Washington Avenue. If my profile had been anywhere near honest, it would have read, “I’m an emotional eater with self-righteous tendencies who has never even owned a proper pair of running shoes and has frequent sex dreams about my eighth grade math teacher.” Patrick texted me the next day, begging me to allow him to explain why he did what he did.
You shouldn't think of it this way though; you are not the only Christian divorce out there and you are not off limits to good Christian partners just because you've been through a marriage that didn't work out.
Your ex may or may not be a part of your life in the future, but he or she should not be a big part of who you in the future. It is also important to reflect on what mistakes you made in your marriage (many times the primary mistake is choice of partner, but this requires you to evaluate yourself also as you were the one who made the choice) and make necessary changes in your attitude, behavior and perceptions before moving back into dating.
There are countless divorce support groups out there; if you can find one tailored specifically to Christians then that's great but any divorce support group should definitely be considered (rather than trying to be your own support or seeking support from those too close to the situation).
A pastor’s daughter, my upbringing included the strict moral code of “no sex before marriage.” This code was promptly discarded in my teenage years, when I learned, all too painfully, why my parents had tried to protect me from being prematurely thrust into the turmoil of physical intimacy.
In my late twenties, my live-in boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his apartment.
I was convinced that God was keeping a tally of my sexual indiscretions and punishing me for them.