We are never responsible for our partner’s actions; they are their own people.
Taking responsibility means recognizing our own choices in a given situation. Maybe before she decided to cheat, she tried to help cultivate more romance in their relationship, have more date nights, or spend more time together.
Maybe by the time he came home from work he was tired and wasn’t interested in sex. But is he blameless for the breakdown of their relationship? Relationships don’t happen “to you”; relationships are co-creative.
We all have choices when it comes to our relationships.
But, he didn’t make himself available for more romance.
Badmouthing Women in General Some men walk away from a bad breakup convinced that all women are the devil.
Kids: Someone who is divorced (depending on his age) most likely has kids, which means he will feel a little bit more comfortable with your kids. Nakedness in broad daylight, those annoying habits, likes clothes all over the floor, the burping and farting you never experience when you’re dating, and really the way the person lives. He’s not bashing his ex every three days, he’s not saying good-bye to his kids and then having that sad look on his face, and he doesn’t have that wounded look that says, “My wife ruined my life.” The never been married guy is fresh, untainted. Commitment: There’s commitment and then there’s commitment. He stood in front of God or a judge and a crowd of people and agreed to commit in writing. Both divorced guys and guys who have never been married can be amazing guys. In other words, I’m not saying one is better than the other.
Remember, there are some guys who have never been married who have kids, and there are some guys who have never been married but have dated a lot of women with kids, so they might be used to being around kids. The ability to be domestic, in other words, can he play house? Although, how do I know he wasn’t madly in love and then dumped? A guy who has never done that could have a commitment issue. There are advantages and disadvantages to both guys.
His attention, even if it’s negative attention, is still preoccupied with his ex and their relationship.
Also, if he is badmouthing his ex in front of his kids (whether she’s their mother or not); this is a guy who isn’t emotionally mature enough to put his children’s best interests ahead of his own bruised ego.
But if he is routinely expressing those bad feelings about her within earshot of you, his preoccupation with his divorce or separation may mean that he has some unresolved feelings.