“At first, I thought if you listed ‘casual sex,’ guys would realize that even though I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, we can still go out, get drinks,” she says, but it triggered a vulgar explosion of come-ons. But they don’t get that.” The attention, she admits, has been flattering—an ego boost after a rough breakup.She also confesses that she was “never the pretty girl” growing up and appreciates being in the position to approve or ignore other people. “I get so many of those …” I would swim the Amazon upstream with an airtank filled with Rosie O’Donnell’s queefs … “Seventy percent of the messages are straight-up blunt, vulgar shit. you need to not approach it that way.” On the free online-dating site OKCupid, Lauren is known as nebulaeandstuff: 23. I found her after a conversation with OKCupid co-founder Christian Rudder, who famously crunched the site’s user data on the blog OKTrends and sold a book based on it, Dataclysm, for seven figures. he’s from South Dakota,” Lauren says, turning off her phone, which will ping with a dozen new queries before the waiter brings the check. Lauren receives around three dozen emails a day; in the last seven months, she’s received five-star ratings, the highest possible rating, from nearly 8,000 men.
She guesses that about 20 percent of respondents have been older than 40, including married men asking her to be a mistress.
And he never follows up with someone who hasn’t already confirmed her interest.
On OKCupid, he does the same thing: He gives everyone five stars (and if someone gives him four or fives stars in return, the site will notify him of a match).
By doing so, he exposes himself to less risk, an appealing upside to James, who’s had two difficult breakups.
He’s since had thousands of matches—so many that he’s had to refine his strategy.
“Even if an amazingly attractive girl said something stupid in their profile, she’ll still get messages,” she says.